Parenting is for suckers! We are totally being taken advantage of. It is a growing epidemic that I feel the need to warn the the global population (or at least the 4-6 people who read my blog each day) about.
First, as women we sacrifice our bodies for over three quarters of a year to allow these microhumans to prepare themselves for life outside the womb. It’s only then, as you pass these helpless little creatures through the sacred canal that they suck you in. Once you hold that little “angel” in your arms, you will feel love like you’ve never felt before (only not in the sacred canal), a love beyond human comprehension!
After the doctors and nurses have deemed you worthy enough to care for this small human, you take it home. You do everything and I mean EVERYTHING for this baby that you hold so dearly to your heart. You feed it, wipe its butt, bathe it, dress it, soothe it, spend all of your money on diapers for it, and for those of you who choose or cannot breast feed it, oh the dollars you will spend on formula! You love this baby with all that you have within never asking for anything in return.
And what do we get in return? We get pooped on, peed on, spit up on, vomited on, hair pulled, kicked, scratched, bitten, breasts abused by, kept up all night by, and basically lose all concept of privacy. And those are just the good things!
But, as parents, we also get a lifetime’s worth of smiles, giggles, laughs, hugs, kisses, and hopefully eventually a high rollin’ deluxe nursing home! I would live through hundreds of the aforementioned monstrosities to have just a single moment of hearing Veronica or Hudson’s laughter and knowing that it came from me.
So on this Valentine’s Day, I will proclaim my love for my children to the world! Their wish is my command no matter how great or small. I will drudge away all day, knowing the whole time that I am a major sucker!
Don't Eat the Children... 
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